Just engaged? Your First Steps Guide Before You Start Planning
Congrats–you’re engaged! After the excitement of sharing the news with friends and family, you might be wondering, ‘What do we do now?’. We’ve got you covered! While you can check out our comprehensive ‘How to Plan a Wedding’ guide for a detailed roadmap, we also asked LA-based wedding planner Margaux Fraise, owner of Harmony Creative Studio, if there’s anything couples should consider before diving headfirst into planning.
And here’s what she had to say!
“Listen, I totally get it – right after you get engaged, there’s so much pressure to do all.the.things and jump into planning everything at once. You’ll be bombarded with questions about where the wedding will be, who will be invited, and what it will be like.
“However, after planning over 200 weddings, I’ve noticed that couples who take the time to focus on these few smaller initial ‘first steps’ tend to have smoother planning experiences, stronger family involvement, and—most importantly—they’re still excited about their wedding day when it finally arrives!”
1. Take a Moment to Enjoy Being Engaged
“This is the step so many couples miss. Before you start the planning process and all the decisions it brings, take some time to enjoy it! Let your friends ooh and aah over your ring, have a little engagement party to celebrate, meet your partner’s family and friends if you haven’t already, and soak it all in.”
2. Get your Ring(s) Appraised + Insured
“At least for the first year or two, when most of the accidents or issues will occur. I’ve seen several couples put this off and then face tragedy later. These are pieces you will hopefully wear the rest of your lives, and you’re just getting used to them – so take the time to safeguard them now.”
3. Decide a Social Media Strategy
“Not everyone wants their entire life online. It’s important to connect and decide as a couple how much you’ll be sharing about your wedding plans, the wedding itself, etc. The internet is forever, and you also can’t take it back – so think about if you want to explain to all your cousins and co-workers why they weren’t invited to this event that is all you talk about on social.”
4. Make a Wedding-Specific Email
“You can thank me later, when you’re not still getting wedding-related emails past your third anniversary! Choose something easy to remember that includes your names or wedding date, like ‘taylorandtravis12.13@gmail.com.’ This also helps vendors keep things organized and you’ll get faster replies. After the wedding, you can forward the account to your personal email for a while to ensure nothing important is missed.”
5. Start a Joint Checking Account for Wedding Expenses
“Even if you don’t plan on co-mingling your finances after you’re married, opening a separate account for wedding-related expenses is a smart move. It’s the easiest way to track money coming in and money going out, and helps you stay on budget. After the wedding, whether you close it, make it your main account, or use it for specific expenses is up to you.”
6. Have Important Initial Conversations:
“No one can read your mind. In order to have a healthy, honest and productive start to planning a wedding, communication is key.”
Start with your partner. Before involving others, have a private conversation to align on these key topics:
- What type of wedding do we want?
- What do we think our budget should be?
- How involved will we each be in the planning?
- Who do we want to invite?
- What have we liked/disliked from past weddings?
Then, involve your families. Once you and your partner are on the same page, bring your initial thoughts to family discussions to understand their perspectives. Key questions to ask include:
· Are there religious ceremonies, traditions, or other expectations you’d like included?
- Will you be helping financially, and how much?
- How involved do you want to be in the planning?
- What are your thoughts on the guest list?
“You may not agree on everything – but it’s important to understand their thoughts and expectations before starting the process. Then you can think about what kind of compromises you’d be willing to make, to either smooth over family drama or in consideration of financial contributions. When possible, start these conversations separately with each family before bringing everyone together for final decisions.”
“From these first steps you’ll be able to head into wedding planning from a point of structure and shared goals, making each step along the way just that much easier. When you’re ready for the next steps, check out the Green Wedding Shoes ‘How to Plan A Wedding’ guide here for everything from choosing a date to finding the perfect planner and more.”
“Happy Planning!!”
More about the brilliant Margaux!
“Margaux Fraise is the owner and creative director of Harmony Creative Studio, an award-winning boutique wedding firm in Los Angeles, CA. A Stage IV breast cancer survivor, she has a unique perspective on what is truly valuable in love, life and weddings – and brings that viewpoint to help her clients hone in on what matters to them. Additionally, she is a respected wedding industry leader, and the host of the ‘Wedding Summit Series’ online events for wedding professionals.”
