How to Avoid the Comparison Trap

photo by Logan Cole | planning by Harmony Creative Studio | flowers by Winston + Main

We reached out to Margaux Fraise, the owner and creative director of Harmony Creative Studio, to hear her thoughts on a popular topic we all deal with (and especially when wedding planning!), How to Avoid the Comparison Trap. She has some helpful tips and we’re so grateful to her for sharing them with us today! Thanks so much Margaux!

Once upon a time, couples could plan their wedding with very few opinions interjecting their excitement. A few family members, a friend or two — that was it. But in the age of social media and wedding media, today’s couples are bombarded with mixed messages, creating confusion around how their day “should” look and feel. 

These competing narratives are a result of a shifting landscape in the industry, with some still spinning a tale about how weddings are magical and couples will have the best day of their lives. But now, luckily, industry professionals are changing the tune. Yes, weddings are great — but there are plenty of “best days” to come, so one day is not the end all, be all.

If you’re navigating the online space while wedding planning, you’ve likely confronted both sides of the conversation. And when the opinions start flooding in, it can sting — even if there isn’t malicious intent.

But you can avoid the comparison trap with these three simple tips, allowing you to enjoy every moment of your engagement without the constant second guessing.

photo by Lyublue | planning + design by Harmony Creative Studio as seen in this Backyard Wedding with Gorgeous Florals

1. Look for real budgets from real weddings.

Transparency matters, but some still use outdated info that doesn’t consider the cost differences between markets. And without real numbers, it’s easy to set yourself up for disappointment. Fortunately, you can find genuine budget breakdowns of real weddings online, which helps you get a better idea of what’s feasible. Otherwise, you might find yourself led astray by pretty styled shoots and elaborate Pinterest designs that cost more than they seem!

2. Watch what you share.

In our hyper-connected world, you might be inclined to share every last detail of your wedding planning journey with your friends and followers. But it’s wise to be cautious about what you post, as it can make others feel left out — and some people aren’t very kind when they’re hurt or offended. Instead, keep your exciting plans to yourself and your closest circle and let your loved ones celebrate your big planning milestones!

photo by Mary Costa Photography | design + planning by Harmony Creative Studio | florals by Shindig Chic as seen in this Pretty in Pastels Editorial

3. Know when to stop scrolling.

Scrolling through social media feeds often leads to comparisons, and not just for your wedding. Set boundaries with yourself in terms of your social media consumption, so you can step away from the highly curated wedding content and focus on what matters most: the loving relationship that will soon become a marriage.

And if you went on a following spree while researching wedding vendors, it’s a good practice to unfollow anyone you didn’t book once you’ve finished hiring your vendors. The only thing that will do is cause you to second guess yourself, and nobody needs buyers’ remorse when they’re planning their wedding!

Rest assured that guests do not show up to a wedding, only to discuss all the things you did or didn’t do like other weddings they’ve attended. They care more about whether you’re wedding feels like you, not whether it measures up to your cousin’s. (Seriously, ask any wedding professional. They’ll confirm!)

So if you want to host an incomparable wedding, the key is to stay true to your values (and your budget) and create a day that represents you and your partner — nobody else! 

Margaux Fraise is the owner and creative director of Harmony Creative Studio, an award-winning boutique wedding firm in Los Angeles, CA. A Stage IV breast cancer survivor, she has a unique perspective on what is truly valuable in love, life and weddings – and brings that viewpoint to help her clients hone in on what matters to them. Her meticulous onboarding, planning, design, and execution procedures have also caught the attention of her peers, and she shares insight regularly on efficient systems for creatives.